From Chapter on "Essence is Life".

"...Because our environment wasn't hospitable, compassionate, loving, or supportive, we think we can get satisfaction by getting an environment that is loving, compassionate, perceptive, and appreciative of who we are. What we are saying is that we want that positive merging again, otherwise we're not going to feel good. "I have to have somebody who loves. I have to have somebody who sees me, who values me." It is true that this is useful and supportive at the beginning, but if you continue depending on it, this will stop you from owning and being who you are. Being who you are, being your essence, should be completely independent of any other factor, inner or outer. As I said in the beginning, Essence is life. Essence is the fullfillment. It's not the environment, not the situation, not the job. It is Essence itself, your essence."-A.H. Almaas