Sitting in my room early one morning, it became clear that I've been lying to myself over and over again. Every time, that I watch myself doing this, I stop, but then comes an external lie. Wondering what is happening?, and constantly looking for a group. There is no where for me to go alone and this is something I've known for quite sometime. Keep making inquiries, but little or no response. It's out here, I've heard. That's ultimately why I drove 2025 miles exactly, dumped all those attachments and "belongings". And what does belonging mean? Looking back, how?
Despite my current struggles, finally really beginning to see who H. is...if she is? What am I? A machine only wishing to be human? If so, tired of mechanics. It doesn't make sense.
Ultimately, What does it mean to be conscious?
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